The maid of honor just puked.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Drake has all the answers
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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