We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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