I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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