jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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