just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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