Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
