if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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