Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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