The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
