I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
