you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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