Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
