We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
