Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
