You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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