none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wish you could order shots online.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
