I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
