Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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