I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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