Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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