one word: firstdatebathroomanal
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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