My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Can Purell be used as lube?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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