You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
