Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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