Got a toothbrush?
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
