Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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