Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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