And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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