you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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