What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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