I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
