how can u be prego again
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
