dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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