Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
