she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize