my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
