Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Please, let me fuck your mom
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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