I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
