i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
