this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
