i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's shark week go big or go home
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize