It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
