I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
