Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
