May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
How's work?
Spinning.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
