How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
