I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
