I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
