Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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