Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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