You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
