If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
