You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
