I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
