hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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