the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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