don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
