At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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