he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
