Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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