I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
