Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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