so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You're like the curious george of whores
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
