Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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