It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
