I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
