shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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